I’ve always tried to write consistently in my journal… once a year. I’d reflect briefly on things that happened throughout the year or pour out my feelings about a certain event. However, I came across one past journal entry that was different than my norm.
This entry was from 2009. It was my sophomore year of high school when I had never been in love and was naive to tons of hardships in life. I was innocent, hopeful and positive in spite of the threat that it could be worse.
This is what I wrote:
“I feel that in life there are many downs. So many things to worry and think about. So many hurtful and hateful things done and said. Violence, drugs, alcohol, divorce, cheating, betraying, leaving the family, the list goes on. But I know life is all about the goods.
You are born to die. Born into the world alone to die alone. However, within your life it is up to you to make the best of it. To change someone’s loneliness and be a friend. Judging someone on a past or mistake will hold you back. The fear of being hurt will prevent you from seeing the beauty in someone or something.
Life is about dreams, and goals. It is about having fun and making choices. It is about overcoming and accomplishing. It is about being free and being different. Life is amazing, the goods always beat the bads.
You cannot be happy only when the sunshines, but instead be the shining sun to everyone in darkness. Shine and radiate, kick ass, be strong. If you have a big nose, smell more with it. If you have big eyes, see all you can with them.
It’s up to you to be what and where you want, but realize to never take things for granted. Never expect wishes or dreams to come true, make them real.
Anything can happen. Decisions and feelings will get you somewhere, but never turn your back on where you have been. Life will always put a wall in your way. A trap or decision too painful and stressful. You have to straighten up, stick it out, and know you have one life to live.
You can die tomorrow, ten years from now, or even eighty. But you can live today, look forwards to tomorrow and plan an amazing future.
Realize that each day passes, it goes by in twenty four hours. Each day you can bring goodness. You can smile, you can laugh, you can dance.
Although some days may be downers, filled with bad news and misery, learn from them. Wipe your tears and turn things around. We all have potential. Everyone and anyone can become incredible.
The key is to never doubt. Failure makes you better. Take and learn all you can from the mishaps in life and add positivity. Thinking of the worst hides the best. You need to look deep and just pull out your best and just go for it.
Show those downs that you can kick their ass and not let them get to you. Things always happen and dealing with them is what makes you stronger. Breaking down will prevent you from all the things you are capable of accomplishing.
You only live one life. You are your own individual person. Take advice and listen to others, but live your life to its fullest. The end may be around the corner, but you have so much time to veer off and take a different route to get there. Live life different, make a change, help someone else, and LIVE… because it is truly all you can do.”
This past journal entry got me thinking.
Before any heartbreak, failure, or hardships, I had a ton of hope. I felt it and I preached it. I wrote it down and tried my best to keep these thoughts always on my mind. I’d love heart to hearts – talking to people about things and learning about them.
I think with time, we get bitter. We feel upset with things that we have no control over – asking why me? Why is this happening? When we should be asking ourselves – how can I learn from this? How can I be better? How can I show my support for the person I love, not just hate the situation?
I definitely get stuck in negative thoughts. Sometimes I’m in them for a week at a time. I eat bad, I skip the gym, I cry myself to sleep and I complain nonstop.
I can’t get out of that mindset because I let it consume me. I’m capable of pushing on, but the doubts and laziness allow me to stay in a comfort zone.
Other times I’m driven, inspired, and hopeful that life is purposeful. I love to dream big and plan for those dreams with goals. It’s thrilling to know that anything is possible.
What I learned from reflecting
This past journal entry from 2009 allowed to reflect on a piece of me I like. I was confident that there’s always good regardless of the situation. That we need to keep showing up to make strides to get where we want to be.
I learned that journaling had been beneficial even if it was once a year. I put down what I believed in my heart. In many ways, I believe it to be true today, I’ve just lost sight of it.
Sometimes reflection is exactly what you need to help you grow the next time around. It’s a reminder that you had those thoughts, even if they were dark or thoughts you’d rather not revisit.
By writing out your thoughts and feelings, you can learn from what you put down in the past, especially by means of gratitude or clarity for where you’re at in life now.
This past journal entry taught me that reflecting on your thoughts is a great way to know who you are and who you want to be. You’re able to see your growth mentally and emotionally, even more so when you’re consistent with it.
Thanks to finding this journal entry from the past, it has inspired me to commit to journaling 3 times a week to get back into it. This time, I’m not waiting until I’m ready, but going for it now so I can get better along the way. It’s a hobby I’d love to practice more of in my life and I’m excited to feel inspired!
What have you discovered about yourself when reflecting on past journal entries?